I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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