You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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