yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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