Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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