you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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