so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize