yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
