I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
