it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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