I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
