I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
