I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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