i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
