We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
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Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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