So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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