i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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