I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
