remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
