If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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