Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
