You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
