nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
