i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize