what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
