he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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