oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
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I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
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I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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