I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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