I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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