last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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