I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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