I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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