You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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