Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
