Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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