Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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