We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
