we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
