the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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