Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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