Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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