a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I puked a lego.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
