I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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