I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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