he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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