I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
