omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
