In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
is that a dick in a sweater?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday