she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.