What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"