I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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