If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
