Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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