So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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