gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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