can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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