Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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