youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
