I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize