Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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