the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My dick has a subreddit
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
