I must be too annoying 4 u.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
