did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you never un-have a 4some
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