I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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