Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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