why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
